When I got pregnant, I read and was told by several people, about how people will invade your space by touching your belly.  I agreed that something like that would be annoying but it really didn’t happen with people I didn’t know.  Considering how many people I talked to in a retail job, I thought that was pretty good.  I did have one lady promptly ignore me, bend over slightly, and start talking to my belly once,  I just thought that was hilarious though.  I welcome her into the store and my unborn baby gets the greeting back.

See the thing is, I don’t remember anyone telling me of the touchy people that come out of the woodwork and touch my BABY.  I don’t know you, and yet you feel it’s okay to touch my baby?  I have issues with that.  It seemed to start when Kayla went from being confined to the carrier on most outings, to being held on my hip or sitting in a cart.  I guess that’s the “TOUCH THE BABY” green light for some people since she’s more out in the open.  Weeks ago, I had Kayla in nothing but a light green onesie, that said “My dad’s a Geek”, sitting on my hip, on a very hot day as we made a quick stop into a Home Depot.  While Marshall swiped his card and paid, the cashier came over, starting pinching at Kayla’s leg and saying in “baby talk” that she needed to “wear pink so we know she’s a girl.”  Kayla showed all the signs that she DIDN’T like this random lady in her face, but the lady paid no heed and promptly got screamed at by Kayla.  It had me turning away and covering my laugh because it’s what she deserved.  Number 1: Don’t touch the baby.  Number 2: My baby can wear whatever damn color I want. And when she grows up I’m certainly not going to tell her she needs to “only wear pink and dresses or she’ll be confused for a boy”. >:(

Papa Joe & Auntie Shay holding the cousins:  Pass

Yesterday I went to the store to grab a few things.  I was already annoyed with the store since they couldn’t seem to stay off the intercom for more then a few minutes, and the lady checking tags on one aisle didn’t seem to want to move so I could get what I needed.  Then when I was picking up a pack of soda, two ladies speaking Spanish started to pass by me, but the younger of the two stopped and went to Kayla and started stroking her!   As I straightened and moved to intercept her, she moved off and starting chatting again with her friend.  She just decided she wanted to touch Kayla and completely ignored me in the process.  I was obviously upset about this, and sat there shocked as she just walked away like she did absolutely nothing wrong.

Daddy & Baby:  Pass

I continued my shopping, and not long after that a woman I had seen around the store as I shopped, came up to me.  She flat out asked me if she could “hold my baby.” I was stunned.  Seriously?  I asked her “why?” which as I look back on it now is kind of a dumb question, but stand to reason I was just stunned stupid.  She pulled her hands closer to herself, almost as if she was cuddling a nonexistent baby and told me she “just wanted to hold her” and “she’d stand right here” as I shopped.  I don’t care where you stand, I didn’t know her, didn’t know if she’d run off with Kayla as soon as she got the chance, and I also didn’t know what kind of health she was in!  I told her I was leaving anyway, and hightailed it out of there because at this point I was just creeped out.

Crazy Cat Lady:  Fail

I’m sure most of these touchy, feely people are wonderful, but touching and asking to hold random babies?  Does that lady ever had any success with that?  Didn’t anyone ever tell these people the non-written rules of “baby etiquette”?  I’ve never touched another persons baby that I didn’t know just because I thought they were cute, just like I wouldn’t go pet a baby bear cub just because it was so adorable.  It’s asking for trouble.  So, a big “Thank you!” to all those respectful people, who look at Kayla almost vibrating with the need to cuddle her, but just sit back and say things like “She’s SO CUTE!” and try to make her smile at them with absolutely no luck.  I like to know that my baby is adorable, (I made her myself ya’know.) and I genuinely appreciate that you haven’t taken to petting my daughter.